Is it possible to use your Anger Constructively and lessen it ?
Anger is powerful emotion & extremely vast topic to be discussed. Half of the people in the world are dealing with this issue.
Now the question emerges is this a real issue or we are making it one? With our actions & of course sometimes with our wonderful reactions.
Talking about myself then I’m a very short-tempered girl and I can say that it’s there in my Genes. But over the period I have realised it’s not at all good neither for me nor for the people in my company.
Because after every ruckus that I have created in my angry state has not taken me anywhere except the path of guilt which is full of questions for me, like “I shouldn’t have said that to Monu”, “I shouldn’t pick up a fight even if Sonu behaved like a Jerk” blah blah!! Here consider Sonu Monu as an example of those people who have triggered me & the reason for my patience on the thin line every time, because there are no people named sonu monu in my life lol.
Jokes apart for a person like me who is sensitive & short-tempered at the same time it is the toughest job to handle that after the anger period & that guilt period. So after relishing so much of these anger episodes in my life I finally decided to work on myself.
So in this blog, I will share all those tips that help me when I’m angry.
Keep reading.
Red & Green flags in Anger — — —
In your angry state, there are many do’s & don’ts that you should be aware of. Here I will mark all those things which are bad & a big No! as in “red flag” while the things that you should do often in your angry state are marked as “green flag”
- Recognize the root cause of your anger
It is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It even happens with me when I’m not known about my anger that where it is surging from, think about it deeply it can either be a word from someone that has ruined your whole mood or it can be an action from someone & the reason varies from person to person. Just go to introspection and find that reason.
Believe me, nobody can help you as much as you can help yourself in that state (green flag).
2. Act on the Cause
Now as you have found that particular reason that is bothering you just act on it suppose someone’s toxic words are hurting you and causing you to feel angry about it, talk to a person who gives you wits who is well known about your nature and known about the various tactics that “how to deal with this person when he is handful”.
Believe me, it will work faster than all those ted talks that you will watch. Just pour your heart out in front of that person even if you find it a bit difficult to talk, say anything that is coming into your mind or just listen to them. (green flag)
But make sure in your weakest moment you haven’t chosen the wrong person to talk to. It often happens with people who choose the very wrong person in their vulnerable state & it costs them a lot. Don’t be the prey of it. (Red flag)
3. Isolate Yourself
Now you will ask me that first you have asked us to talk to a person & now you are asking us to seclude ourselves then my dear readers read further let me complete myself.
So yeah I was saying have you heard about a proverb that says “When anger approaches you it destroys many relationships & many homes.” It is an apt saying for this point, when you are angry you utter those things that you never meant, and as we all know “Words are sharper than knives and leave bruises on the heart”. Always remember “You will not be punished for your anger but punished by your anger”.
So try to be silent when your head is boiling & try to control yourself. At least try to be silent as long as you find the right person to talk about, your words can cost you so much at that time.
4. Don’t Make Decisions
Have you ever heard the very famous proverb “Hold your horses” yeah that’s the exact thing that you have to do in your angry state. Holding your running horses which are running at the speed of Bolt.
It is also one of the essential parts of your angry state where you don’t have to make promises as well as decisions because at that time you aren’t thinking rationally & makes the worst possible decision for yourself. It is the biggest “Red flag” in your angry state.
I told ya!!! earlier that it all depends on how you perceive a thing & reacting to it. Everything is interconnected.
5. Food
My favorite thing to do is have my favorite meal whenever my mood is sour. You should do it often (green flag).
You know sometimes it even happens that you are just feeling “angry” because you are “hungry” & the combination of “hungry + angry” is “Hangry” which is the worst combination in the world. A person like me can even be murderous when she is hungry. So have your food & calm down buddy.
6. Sleep
Ok, it won’t give you a solution for anything but yeah when you woke you will feel lightheaded & can think about anything rationally. So if you are a kind of sleepyhead like Nobita who can sleep anytime & anywhere this is the best you can do. Just sleep & go into your wonderland. (green flag)
Now coming to the Constructive side of Anger & try to lessen it — —
My personal favorites are there in this list of what I used to do in my angry state. You may laugh at some of them but it genuinely works people.
1. Cleaning
Well, I’m the one who always use to listen to earfuls from my mom when it comes to “wardrobe cleaning” because I particularly hate that task from the bottom of my heart but alas!! I have to do that. So the thing is you can use that angry period of yours in setting your wardrobe as it releases your stress & any such activity which involves cleaning either you have to settle your study table (ahhh!!! I hate that task too ) or you have to sweep your whole room just go ahead & do it as it will help you to release your stress.
It is one of the constructive ways to use your anger in the right direction because after doing that particular chore you will realize “Yeah I did it”. One of the simple & sorted things to do.
2. Snapchat Filters
Ok don’t laugh at that it may sound freaking crazy but it isn’t or maybe a little bit but who cares until & unless it is lightning up your mood. Using those weird filters or clicking such photos use to lighten your sour mood.
It is one of the bizarre ways you can consider but I will say give it a shot buddy. Be a weirdo for yourself.
3. Work Harder
Work hard towards your career, towards your body whatever the thing you are passionate about. It is the best time to push yourself off the limit.
Have you ever noticed when someone says a negative thing about you, it burns a flame in you. Flame to work harder towards that particular thing & prove everyone wrong. That flame takes the best of you so whenever you are in such a phase don’t miss the opportunity grab it & take the best of it.
You know what when you don’t do anything productive & see people who are with you, are moving ahead & doing something better you feel angry with yourself so make sure to make yourself busy in some activities which make you feel better & make you feel worthy. Most of the people feel “worthless” because they are doing absolutely nothing.
4. Skincare & Music
Whenever you are listening to some songs & try to be in that rhythm with the song you feel good extremely good, why that happens because you divert your mind & doing something else which is making you happy & when you put a sheet mask on, applying serum making fake scenarios while looking in the mirror these small dramatic tactics makes you feel worthy & good. Believe me or not it helps, it genuinely helps.
Well, I’m not telling you to “put a sheet mask on while looking in the mirror & swaying with the lyrics of your favorite song when there are 20 people in your room”. Even the thought sounds extremely funny hehe!! But you can do it if the idea fits well for you.
I have realized so far that in your angry state, the best thing you can do is to divert your mind from the source that is making you angry, and do whatever you think is suitable for you at that time. Your ideas and tactics may be different from mine.
5. Long Drives & Walks
Last but most effective. Again it helps & it helps a lot. I remember whenever my mood isn’t good or I‘m feeling a bit upset about anything I used to do star gazing while moving on the ground it soothes me somehow & I feel very relaxed. Well, the sight for others is quite funny because for instance imagine a person moving ahead while looking at the sky continuously & not looking at the front. Sight is funny but your inner turmoil will be quieter for a few minutes while doing this.
I will suggest you do this in the park or on your roof where there are railings of iron bars & not to move ahead like this on the highway like a berserk as it can create another problem for you my ‘angry bird’.
So these are the few life-changing tiny things that I have tried & they helped me A lot. I won’t say that I don’t feel angry anymore as it is not possible but I would rather say my way of perceiving things & dealing with them is changing in a better way. You can apply these things too in your life & find changes in yourself too.
Well, it’s my official first blog that I have published . So if you liked my work do follow me for more such blogs & Yeah every constructive criticism is allowed.
You can also follow me on LinkedIn .
https://www.linkedin.com/in/rafiya-siddiqui-baa29a22b
Thanks for Reading fellas!!
